dale carnegie

How To Change People Without Giving Offence

Charles Schwab was a famous and wealthy businessman in the United States. One day he was passing through one of his steel mills that he saw the employees smoking. He did not scold them; rather he asked them gently, “Wouldn’t you mind if you guys smoke this outside?” He could have also shown anger at them. But he did not choose to do that. He realized them their mistake indirectly. Targeting the mistakes of others directly offends the people.

If you start any conversation by phrasing your conversationalist, you will have a higher chance of persuading him towards your idea. The other method is, telling your own mistakes. We learn when we commit mistakes. Before criticizing the mistake of another person, the first talk to him about the mistakes you have committed in the past when you were his/her age (in case you have experienced that).

Giving direct orders to others is not good. You have to be careful. No one wants to take the orders. While giving orders to someone, use the sentences like, “Do you think that would work?” or “You might consider this”. Here, in these sentences, your order becomes a kind of question. The person who is taking your order feels as if you are taking a suggestion from him.

Keep In Mind

Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime. If you are a parent and you are scolding your child in front of a relative, then it is never a good idea. Let the other person save his/her face. If you think it is necessary, take him/her to a corner and discuss the issue there with him/her.  Praise the improvements of others. When others are down, or they are working less of their expectation, do not tell them to work as he/she used to do, instead, tell him that “you used to do this work this much good and I hope you can now do it even better” Praising others encourages them. Give the other person a good reputation. Make the mistake look easier for him/her to make it correct. Make the other person happy about the things you suggest to him/her.

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