In part one of “Ways to make people like you”, I have told you about three important things. In this article, I will discuss three further important attributes that will even compel your enemies to like you.
- Be a good listener.
- Talk in the terms of other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important.
1: Be A Good Listener
This is an important principle to become a better conversationalist. Many people do not listen to others. They only want to put their problems in front of others. And when it is done, they don’t care about the stories of others. Interrupting others in their talk; looking here and there; talking to someone else, these all are bad habits in a conversation. People are hundred times more interested in themselves rather than you. They do not care about the war killing thousands of people in Syria, they only care about their toothache.
On the hand, sometimes people only want you to lesson to them. They want to share their stories with you. Might be that is not as important but it is important o him.
One day Abraham Lincoln called his neighbor to his house. He discussed the issues of that time faced by the government. That man kept listening to him for almost half an hour. And Lincoln said him goodbye without listening to him. Now, this doesn’t mean that Lincoln wanted a suggestion from him, Lincoln only wanted someone with whom he could share his stories, his words. Because sharing these words with others would give him relief. That is the reason you are told to write your fears and problems on a piece of paper.
2: Talk in the terms of other person’s interest
Theodore Roosevelt is considered to be one of the finest conversationist. Before meeting a person, he used to read about the interests of that person. This would make their conversion an interesting one. People only want to listen what they like.
I had been living in the hostel for years. During mess, a guy used to come three times a day, he used to sit beside me; eat, and leave the hall. I never ever saw him speaking. One day I saw him playing Cricket. so at that night in the mess hall, I broke the ice and asked him about his favorite cricketer. This guy kept talking for almost an hour. I was listening to him and he never gave me a chance to speak. From that day He started to talk to me every single time. That is what made him one of my good friend.
Talk about what is important to him/her. No one cares about your printer not working in your office. They only want to know about that *cough* hot secretary in your office. SO speak to them in the term of their interest. If you are talking to an American, do not brag about cricket, discuss with him about your favorite football player, ohh! I mean soccer. This is the rule which will make him like you.
3: Make the other person feel important
Carnegie tells that one day he visited a post office. There he saw clerk who was bored of his job. He went towards him and told him, “I certainly wish I had your head of hearing”. The clerk smiled and response and replied, “Yeah! many people have told me this”. Just a few words have made the day of that clerk.
A year ago, I daily used to meet my brother in his office. There I used to see a tired employee of him who did not really liked his job. He probably wanted some attention or importance. So, the next day I told a staff member about this. This member made a chart and wrote a big “You are valued” with a bold marker on it. He Pasted this on the wall in front of that employee. The next day I saw that employee smiling and working happily. This small chart meant a lot to him.
Give compliments to people. Make them feel important. Do not miss their names in thanking them. This is what seems better to hear. That is why many people act crazily in the society to gain attention.