The subtle art of not giving a fuck is written by a blogger known as Mark Manson. It was originally written in the English language. This book was first published in 2016. As of February 2018 around 2 million copies of the subtle art of not giving a fuck has been sold. This book is ranked as one of the best self-help books of the 21st century.
What Is ‘The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a Fuck’?
What basically giving fucks mean? Well, there are certain examples to understand. You give fucks about other’s outfit. He gives fucks about other’s beautiful cars. She gives fucks about her handsome boyfriend. They give a fuck about his Instagram followers. You give a fuck about what others have said behind you. You give a fuck about the tissue paper running out in the toilet. And the list goes on… you give so many fucks.
Most of the people claim, “I don’t give a fuck about that thing” and they do give fuck indeed. And you are also one of them. To stop giving fucks any more, you need to learn ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’. The first thing is feelings.
Feelings Are Illusions
This world runs on feelings. You feel good watching Television, so you buy one. You feel good driving an expensive car, so you but it. She posts pictures on her social media about her daily life that differs from her daily life. Because she wants to feel important. The reason is that you give fucks about other’s lives. You want to compare your life with other’s lives on social media.
That is what creates the depression for you. A confident man does not have to prove that he is confident. A rich lady does not have to prove that she is rich.
The Feedback Loop From Hell
Most of the times, we give fucks about those things which continuously float in our mind. If you take feelings aside, the whole business will stop. The most important thing is feelings. You give way many fucks to hurt your own feelings and emotions.
There are certain types of feelings
- Feeling good about feeling good.
- or, Feeling good about feeling bad.
- or, Feeling bad about feeling good.
- even, Feelings bad about feeling bad.
You feel worried about committing a mistake, and then You feel guilty about worrying. Later, you Become anxious about feeling guilty. Fuccckkk… this cycle goes on. It is not good for you. These all are the illusions that we have in our mind to destroy our happiness. Feelings suck at all. Feelings are temporary. It feels amazing to be in a relationship, but it feels the worst to have a breakup. It feels good to masturbate, drink, smoke and waste time on unnecessary things. Things that give us instant pleasure; but Latter we regret that.
So you do not have to let yourself be controlled by your feelings. Do things which are good for your future. Pleasure is a false god. Do something that gives a long time pleasure rather than a short time pleasure. There is a quote of Muhammad Ali:
I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as champion
Why Should I Stop Giving Fucks?
Well! Giving way many fucks makes you weak, unhappy, depressed and destroys your peace. But it does not mean that you should never give a fuck. You must give a fuck, but to something that is important. Because you have a limited amount of fucks to give. you have to spend these fucks wisely. You need to give fucks to things which really matter, like your future, your relationships with people and many other important things.
Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what is truly fuck worthy. There is a quote of Winston Churchill:
“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dogthat barks.”
Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different. The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. You will never be happy if you search for what happiness consist of. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fear and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance.
Accepting Mediocrity and Insecurities
Jealousy is a factor that we give way to many fucks. We are jealous of what others have acquired. If you do not have the thing which the other person has, you feel inferior and give fucks about the person owning that thing. It could be anything like a car, girlfriend, or even confidence.
Being open with your insecurities make you more confident and charismatic around others. You need to accept your insecurities to better understand them. When you start to accept your insecurities, you stop giving useless fucks about these small things. when you stop spending fucks on these unnecessary things, you save them for something important.
The greatest truths in life are usually the most unpleasant to hear. The pain which we hate is actually useful. Just because something feels good does not mean it is good. Whatever makes us happy today, will no longer make us happy tomorrow. Because happiness requires struggle, it grows from problems.
Many people hate mediocrity. They struggle for something uncommon. A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept it, they will never achieve anything, never improve and that their life will not improve. People who become great at something understand that they are not already great, they are average – and that they could be so much better.
The time you start not giving fucks to unimportant things, you will find peace, happiness and live every moment you live in. You will come to know about the false thoughts and become more mature.