I have been using social media for the last 5 years. During these five years, I have seen different types of people on this platform. When I get to any social media app, I do not post pictures of my abs or picture of a 6 inches pizza that I ate with my 12 friends a week ago, but I observe a different kind of people on this platform.
My aim is observation. There are some people who would rarely smile in their pictures, you will see a load of arrogance on their face as if their father has 500 oil wells in the desert of Arabia. You will find some people who post pictures with guns, those beautiful cars of other, or a discarded brand t-shirt which he received in the survival fund of an earthquake. These people react as if they are the members of ‘one direction’ but in real life, their self-esteem is destroyed and they are losers.
I would always ask myself that why don’t people post pictures with a smile on their faces, especially our young generations? Why are the so much obsessed with these materialistic things like cars, phones or branded clothes? Then I came to know that they do not do these things for themselves, but for others. These are the people who are impressed by the Kardashians. In other words, they want attention for nothing.
SO for this purpose, I had to go through one of the most famous self-help books, “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. Here are the first three basic ways to make people like you.
- Become genuinely Interested in other people.
- Call a person by his first name.
1: Become genuinely interested in other people
You may know a very interesting fact that in the English language, the most used word is ‘I’. People always want to talk about themselves. Everyone is a poet who wants to describe his own pain. Everyone thinks that only he/she is dealing with problems in life. But this is not a fact, everyone in this world is dealing with his own problems.
On the other hand, as already discussed, our social media is a factory that is converting humans into arrogant ass*s. Most of those arrogant faces on social media with a status “I don’t care about you”, suck in real life. And it has become a trend. They do not have any value in real life. They are the kings of their own illusionary world. This is not the thing that works. The fact is “We are interested in other when they are interested in us”.
A human is always the admirer of attention. If you give someone attention, he will be glad and in return, he will be good to you. Therefore, give respect and become interested in others. That is the reason extroverts have more friends because they always are interested in the talks of others.
When a person smiles at you, he indirectly tells you that he likes you, you make him happy and he is glad to see you. A smile is a very powerful thing. Even if you try to fake a smile, still you will feel positive vibes. This is the thing that works in business. I would be interested in going to a restaurant again where a waiter dealt me with a smiling face. There is a Chinese proverb,
“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop”
A smile also means that I am comfortable with you. Carnegie tells that he assigned a task to the employs of a company, to smile at someone every hour of the day in a week and then share your experiences with him. After carrying this task for a week, many employs came to Carnegie and thanked him for this. They told that just a smile has brought a big change in their lives. Just because of showing those tinny teeth to others, they have been able to improve their relations and business.
Take this challenge personally. Smile at (almost) everyone you see around you for a week. And then share your experience in the comment section.
3: Call a person by his first name
There is a quote in this book,
“The name of a person is the sweetest sound to him in any language”
One of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining goodwill was by remembering and making people feel important. The first lesson a politician learns is to recall a voter’s name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion. Napoleon knew this technique, He used to know the name of a person first; If he could not understand it, he would ask for its spelling.
Read Part two of this article Here